Attack of the Zombie Tomatoes!

Rest assured I am not over-exaggerating when I say that I have freakin’ tomato plants everywhere in my yard. I swear to God, you can’t turn your head without seeing some kind of volunteer tomato plant growing – nay thriving – in my back yard. Frankly, it’s kinda freaking me out.

We noticed it one day, probably six weeks ago. Sitting on the patio as we tend to do and enjoying the evening. I was studying one of my planter boxes and there it was. The unmistakable stalk and leaves of a tomato plant. “Hey Babe,” I called to my adorable husband “check this out.” He is more learned in all things growing out of the earth than I am and he confirmed my suspicion. We had a tomato plant growing in the planter. My gaze drifted to the planter’s twin. Sure enough, another tomato plant. My husband surmised that some errant tomato seed had gotten itself into the planter and stubbornly took hold. Okay, he wasn’t that colorful in his description, but it’s what he meant.

Now we were on the lookout for tomatoes. And we found them. In another pot on the patio table. Growing in the back flower beds, a whole forest of them sprouting up by the peppers. Probably the strangest ones were the two that sprung out of the retaining rocks of the waterfall. They were novelties. We checked them and sort of thought them cute. Now, I’m a little scared.

These tomato plants are huge with thick trunk-like stalks and lots of stems and leaves and now strange tear-drop shaped tomatoes on them. I have no memory of eating tear-drop shaped tomatoes last year and watching these monstrosities growing is beginning to give me the heebie-jeebie. Just exactly where did they come from? Are they honest-to-God edible tomatoes or are the some mutant strain that’s gonna turn me into a zombie?

Frankly, I don’t think I’m going to eat these odd tomatoes and I don’t feel one bit ashamed of it. I didn’t ask for these tomatoes and I didn’t buy these tomatoes (well maybe once I did, really that was a long time ago) and I don’t think that Mother Nature will plague my house for not eating them. I think I’ll let them for the chipmunks and the birds to enjoy. And if I get zombie birds and rodents in my yard in a few weeks, I’ll let you know!


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