My New BFF…really

I was thumbing down through my emails – yes, I look at them on my phone, is that a problem? – when I see that Beyonce sent me an email. And I can read the opening sentence, which says “I usually don’t email you…” Really, Beyonce, you don’t? Christ, I thought we were BFF’s! I’m shocked.

Shocked, I say.

Oh, I know it’s political propaganda and I’m okay with it. But what I’m not okay with is Beyonce, and is it really Beyonce?, acting like it’s not. If I am to take this email at face value, Beyonce is sending it to me and acknowledge that, yeah, it’s been a while since we emailed each other, but this is really important. Sure, usually I’m busy Skyping with Justin Bieber, but hey, I’m always up for an email from Beyonce. Or a text from Brad and Angelina.

What I mean, because I know this is one of those babbling, rambling bitching blogs wherein I’m really pissed off about something else, but I don’t want to go there so I’m going to take it all out on this innocent email that just wants me to vote one way or the other…phew, deep breaths…deep breaths.

Okay, so what I really mean is…why are we pretending that this is anything more than a political ad? Outside of Sara Jessica Parker inviting people to her house, these kinds of emails, telephone calls, texts, whatever are nothing personal. They aren’t a direct appeal from this or that celebrity to vote a certain way. They are a solicitation. Not an invitation. And why would we be so stupid to pretend otherwise?

So who’s really stupid here? Me or the celebs who lend their names to these emails?

I’m thinking it’s me. Why? Well, because I’m really pissed off about something else yet here I am bitching about political solicitations instead. But also because I’m actually giving a shit about these emails while Beyonce probably isn’t. Oh, and the clueless twit who actually thinks Beyonce just emailed her…she’s stupid too.

So do me a favor all you politicos out there who think that a sure way to get a vote is to send out some mass email from some celebrity that you think may appeal to me and just stoppit. Unless you can get Eddie Vedder on my porch asking me for my vote…just stoppit.

And hey, who knows, maybe my next blog will be about what’s really got me cranky!


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