Cuffed and Stuffed…Seriously?

I never thought this would come out of my mouth. Never in a million years would I utter these words. But I have to say it and I’m saying it with surprise and disbelief in my voice.

I am sick of the BDSM novels.

Back up a sec. Let me clarify. I am sick of the recent rash of 50 Shade-ish wanna be trash that’s outflanking every other book of worth on the so-called best seller’s list.

Can I have a good crime novel? Or even a historical romance. I know, how about a suspense story with a twist of good old-fashioned intrigue thrown in for fun? Please?

Instead, every other freaking book I see is ‘slave to you’ this or ‘taken’ that or some other slant on the whole breakout genre that is now dominating the top lists on Barnes and Noble and Amazon. I walked through the book section of WalMart and saw virtually, actually it was literally, not digitally, but who the hell cares, the same type of books. WalMart! Does Sam know? Surely this isn’t part of his family values dogma.

And it’s just not one stand-alone book. These people are pumping out series. Many in a series. Like the one I saw that was #9 in a series. Seriously? Who the hell can think up enough bondage shit for one novel, let alone nine! I’m aghast. And I’m not easily made such.

I’d like to be able to go down through the best sellers lists and find something on a book cover besides ties, high heels, long legs (yes, I’m jealous), handcuffs or couples in intimate embraces. Titles insinuating bondage, submission, domination and the like are wearing thin on me.

And I’m nowhere even close to being vanilla!

But even us hardcore readers need a little break. Even those of us who knew what 99% of the shit being talked about in the books are all about, and lived a good part of that, are a little tired of the overkill. Maybe it was better when it was our dirty little secret. You know, it’s like sneaking junk food at 2:00 a.m., it feels so good because it’s so bad. Now, our dark dalliances are out there on bookshelves and Nooks and Kindles all over the world. Now that it’s mainstream, it’s just not as appetizing. Thanks for ruining my fun!

So come on, bring back the good old books of last year. I need Cotton Malone, Stephanie Plum or even a little Beth and Wrath to keep me sane. And for God’s sake, keep the hand cuffs in the detective novels!

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