Remember when we were little kids and how bad it sucked when no one really paid attention to us? We’d have some brilliant idea or something very important to tell the adults and they’d all be sitting around the table, drinking (coffee or otherwise), smoking (generally just cigarettes) and laughing (or gossiping, in which case I usually shut up to listen too) and they had no urge to immediately stop what they were chatting about, doing or whatever they were engaged in to listen to you?
Imagine how bad it sucks when you’re 46.
And what’s worse, even if you managed to get the adults attention, and they actually listened to you, chances were that they didn’t (a) believe you or (2) laughed you off as ridiculous.
That kind of shit really burns my ass.
I am an adult. I have a well-paying job. I went to college (not starting any fights here sweetie). Most importantly, I am a very thoughtful and intelligent person capable of very thoughtful and intelligent reasoning.
And yet here I am, bitching about how no one will freakin listen to me.
Why is it I can’t speak my mind, say my peace, argue my point and have it heard? Why can’t my voice be heard? Why doesn’t my opinion, want, need count? What the fuck do I have to do for people to hear?
Maybe I need to go back to six year old me. Take a fit. Stomp my foot. Yell a little louder. Maybe I need to act out. Show my rebellious side and make lives miserable. Truly act like the little kid that can’t be heard.
Or maybe I just need to act. Follow through on my wishes. Go out on a limb and grab what I was yelling about in the first place. After all, if I really want it; wouldn’t I do anything to get it?
Errr…I hate being the six year old in the room.