The Friday Bitch — It ain’ t that funny

To begin with, I am perfectly aware that this is Saturday and I call this particular blog posting the Friday Bitch. But it was busy last night — Sharknado ain’t gonna watch itself! So you get to hear me bitch on a Saturday. A rare treat for all you NonBlogger Followers. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy Saturday just so I can bitch.

Let the bitching begin.

This is something that I’ve only tried to become more conscious of in the last few months or whatever since I’ve decided to become more conscious of crap that annoys me. I don’t know; this social awareness is marked on a calendar somewhere and if you give me a minute — wait, nevermind, not important. Mind’s racing. Words flowing. Overload. Focus…on task…breathing has leveled out…we’re good.

Again with the bitching.

What’s got me going this beautiful Saturday morning, you say? Well, I’m glad you asked. And it’s not funny. Not even a little. It’s the absolute overuse of the text slang LOL.

Stop laughing out loud, I’m serious here. I’ve gotten texts where these three offensive letters have popped up several times. One text, a lot of freaking laughing. No one is that funny.

And what kind of laugh is it? For some texts, I know the person well enough that I know it’s a nervous laugh. Like they’re testing the waters with me. Is this day where I’m biting fingers? Or maybe I’m amendable to a belly rub? LOL?!? Maybe? That’s not the purpose of the LOL. That would be more of a NCTO (nervous chuckle trailing off) and that’s just too awkward to type. It won’t catch on so just stop it and risk the chance of pissing me off.

Other texts, the LOL is more of a snicker. A snide comment sliding through that the sender feels is somewhat softened by the interjection of the LOL. Those are the IWTPUOBNTB (I want to piss you off but not too badly) kind of LOL’s. Again, impracticable but at least you’d know what the hell was going on. Your friend was giving you a jab, but hey maybe they want to get together for a drink later and they don’t want to totally piss you off. Just maybe rile you up a little bit to get you moving and out the door on time.

Some LOL’s are just like a pffsst or when you almost spit out your drink because someone has said something particularly funny. That would the OMGIAS (Oh my God, I almost spit) type of laugh and I think that one could just catch on. So the next time your buddy texts you something that makes you nearly choke on your iced tea, send the IMGIAS instead of the overused LOL. Go on! Be a trend-setter.

So that leads me to the real question: is there a proper time and place for the LOL? What the hell does it even mean? Laughing out Loud, right? It’s the deep, rich laugh that comes from a good joke or a funny story shared between friends. Picture big burly guys with their heads thrown back in a deep belly laugh. That’s what the LOL was made for.

So are there times when the only real text jargon that is appropriate is the LOL? Can we all just simply use the LOL in its more purest of definitions? You know, like when you’re reading my blog!

Keep on Laughing!


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