Let’s face it. No one is totally accepting of another person. Oh sure, we might say that we love them warts and all but the ugly truth is that there is one or two — dozen — things that we’d change about that person we say we love unconditionally. That it’s our spouse, our best friend, our children doesn’t matter. The simple fact of the matter is that we don’t love unconditionally.
It’s the glaring truth people. We may as well own it.
In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say we don’t even love ourselves unconditionally and that is a damn shame. And even more in fact (if, in fact, that’s grammatically correct — something I’m hard on myself about), I would hazard a guess that we’re more harsh when trying to love ourselves than we are others. We can see through other’s flaws and love them more than we can our own. We shouldn’t be doing that.
I propose that for a week, just a freakin’ week, we love ourselves. We do nice things for ourselves. We don’t talk badly about ourselves. No starting a sentence out with “I’m probably wrong” or “I’m so dumb” or “If I looked like”. No disparaging ourselves. No making excuses for our perceived faults. For one solid week, we love ourselves and we talk kindly of ourselves. We give ourselves a week free of self-loathing.
I think if we do that, if we can start being kinder and more loving to ourselves, we’ll be able to finally love someone else a little more unconditionally. If we begin to see the good that’s inside us, the good in others will be more readily visible. If we learn to love ourselves, loving someone else won’t come with all those fucking strings attached.
It might be a little late in the game for New Year’s Resolution so maybe I’ll make this a New Life Resolution: I’m going to love myself. I’m going to appreciate myself for what I am and what’s I’ve become; what I’ve accomplished and what I’m still working on; and what I’ve endured and what made me that much stronger.
I’m going to love me so I can love you better.