You’re asking for blind faith…or unconditional submission or something that I’m just not capable of. I need to know. I want facts and plans and timetables. Statistics and probabilities. Worst-case scenarios even. I just want to know. I know a lot of this goes on emotion and adrenaline and a splash of whiskey, but I can’t close my eyes and trust.
I’m not wired that way.
Sure, I can – do! – trust but not to the limits you want. And I can dream and aspire and take a leap of faith. You’re asking me to step off a platform swaying in the stratosphere without thought or consideration. You want blind faith. You’re asking me not to ask, simply be, without promise or even a subtle whisper of what’s to come. No pressure, no questions and no complaints.
I can’t do that.
Because the problem with blind faith is that you have to open your eyes some time. And what you see isn’t always what you thought you were getting. You’re right, nothing is guaranteed which is all the more reason I cannot accept blind faith. Things change and a person stumbling along with blinders on doesn’t always see that new twist or turn in the pathway. When you’re not actively looking, a lot of things change. Sink holes open up and swallow you whole.
And I won’t do that.
But I want what you’re hinting at. I want it more than I want to breathe. I want it like I want chocolate and puppies and soft blankets. And if I keep my eyes open, I can see it up over a small knoll and around the bend. But you want me to keep my eyes closed. When I do; there is nothingness. Darkness and worst of all – doubt.
So let me walk into this eyes wide open. Let me know and feel and experience. Let me see you for all the wonder that you are and let me believe in you because you are real in front of me in all that I’ve come to love so much. And believe in me. Let me help and soothe and bring that beautiful smile to your face. Let me show you what can be when two people fully see what lies in front of them and choose it together.
And this, we can do.